Different? Really?

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Today, I’ve been pondering something. Are we really all as different as we’d like to think?

As a psychology major, I understand that we all thrive off of certain basic needs, often derived from Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (shown above). The degree to which we need those things may vary, but basic needs are the same.

There have been events taking place in the area of the state where I went to college that are despicable, and I’m not certain that so many people are as different as we may think. Everyone loves, everyone thrives,  everyone struggles, and everyone fails. Is it really all that necessary to understand the intricacies of what that means for an individual so much so that it robs someone of his or her livelihood?

Love is love. Community is community. So are we all that different, really?

Oh wait. I type with one hand, so maybe this blog post shouldn’t be published. After all, it wasn’t typed with the standard two-handed conventions.

News I Never Thought I’d Have

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As someone with a physical disability, it’s a truly momentous personal victory when you realize that something you never thought possible can happen. For me, there are many things that fall into this category, but for now, and as I begin graduate school, one of those things is bike riding. Why? How? What?

Remember the professor who quickly turned to a mentor for me in college? He has been a rider ever since he can remember, and he rode to school on a recumbent bicycle one day. He looked at me and said, “Erin, I think you could do this.” I admittedly thought he was a little crazy, but the idea kept rolling around in my head. Like many through undergraduate degrees, I didn’t really have tike for much of my own hobby, and knowing that I would need some extra attention in terms of the way that it would happen.

Given that I’m off during the summer for the first time in four years this year, I decided that I would  check into the possibility. I researched many, many things and chatted with many experienced cyclists and decided that my need doesn’t lie in an adaptive bicycle, but rather in an adapted bicycle. After about two weeks of Google searching, reading, and studying, I was ready to get serious i the pursuit and found a more-than-ideal engineer that will help me meet my needs. One of the other reasons that considering bike riding was important for me at this point in time is that I sometimes become concerned with how wrapped I am in academic endeavors. While there isn’t anything wrong with that, there’s also something to be said for the need of exercise, an outlet, and well-roundedness.

I’m more than excited to get started,  and be looking for more about the endeavor and adventure in the days, weeks, and months to come. The process will officially begin next week, and I think I’ll use the hashtag #ErinRides on both Facebook and Twitter to track progress, so feel free to add input and follow along!

See you on the trails!

Strappy Sandals

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Most of the time, I’m fortunate enough to be able to view my challenges in a rather positive light. When it comes to anything shoe-related, that’s a different story.

One of the reasons for that is that I wear orthotics on my feet that have the purpose of supporting my ankles in favor of balance when standing and walking. Because they’re so bulky, I am unable to wear the cute strappy sandals that are so common in the South for summer.

Take today, for example. The outfit that I’ll be wearing out to coffee with a friend is perfect for a cute pair of strappy sandals. Instead, I’ll wear Keds sneakers. While it doesn’t sound bad, try putting your foot in a sock and then covering it in thick plastic in mid-May in Georgia.

I think about this all the time, especially since I went to college in a town where it was exceptionally warm for nearly half the year, but I guess if that’s the most I’m concerned with most of the time, I’m pretty fortunate.

Next time you wear strappy sandals, be grateful for the little things (and think of me, of course!)

Just Living Life

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One of the most difficult things that those of us with disabilities face in most any situation is the fact that the media often portrays any sort of challenge as “heroic”.  The term used by many individuals with disabilities is “inspiro-porn” meaning that stories and other portrayals are usually framed with the notion that people with disabilities and the stories involving us are newsworthy, they’re “magical”, or something similar. 

Luckily, I grew up with a twin sister who isn’t directly affected by any sort of challenge, so my disability was never shed in the “inspirational” light. 

I’ll never understand why this story highlights the fact that this young man is now in a wheelchair to emphasize that he finished college. Finishing college is a wonderful milestone for anyone, regardless of their preferred method of mobility. Or why the fact that this senior in high school went to prom with a “crush, close friend” ends up on a CBS website. It’s 2014; if these stories are truly newsworthy, why are my parents, very normal, average, middle class folks, not being chased by the paparazzi as they travel to work each day? These people are normal people doing everyday things like going to prom and going to college, so why isn’t every person who goes to college or who goes to prom with a close friend interviewed by a national news outlet?

Take me, for example. I’m certainly excited, honored, and thrilled to be attending a nationally ranked university for graduate school. My program is even #17 in the nation. Does my excitement have anything to do with the fact that I’m going to be a graduate student with a disability living in Lexington, Kentucky and attending the University of Kentucky? I honestly haven’t even thought about it in that vein. I’m going to further my education, just like anyone, with or without a disability, would have the opportunity to do. Is the fact that I’m moving 400 miles from anything familiar a feat because I have a disability? No, it’s a feat because I haven’t known anything else in my nearly 24 years, save the fact that I went to college in a small, rural town about two hours away for four and a half years. I won’t lie and say that I haven’t found extreme comfort in the fact that there are over 1,000 students with disabilities at the University of Kentucky. I can say one thing for certain for each and every one of us: we aren’t attending school simply because we have disabilities. Iff anything, society would tell us, just as these “news stories” have implied, that it would be much easier for us to sit around and wait on the cameras. Instead, we choose to better ourselves, better our society, and better the futures of generations.

I don’t want media attention because I’m doing what people my age and in my stage of life are typically doing; I just want a smile. And I want people to recognize that it wasn’t any more difficult or easier for me to gain admission into my program. I want people to realize that the best recognition that they can give me is equality because, truthfully, I’m just living life.

Where Does Motivation Come From?

During this stage of my life, I'm finding it challenging to retain the sources of motivation that come with going to school full-time and being surrounded by creative, intelligent people with every turn of my head. Fortunately, I'm returning there in August, albeit to a new university, a new setting, and new sights, smells, and sounds.

Most people are shocked when they discover that my motivation does not come from other people with disabilities. I often find solace in understanding that people with disabilities similar to my own have been on the adventure before me, but that's simply a "logistics" meter. Even in 2014, I still have concerns about the accessibility of modern public facilities, as well as the quality of service offered to those with disabilities.

In a recent conversation with a mentor who played football for a legendary coach in college, works for a university to which I have extreme loyalty, and who has a broadcasting background, he simply asked, "Where do you learn? Who motivates you? Is there anybody you study?" Very generally, I answered, "People without disabilities." The reasons for that are many, but the biggest part of my logic centers around the idea that people who are in similar situations are not motivations, simply due to the fact that they may not offer advice that will allow you to better your journey. For example, if two 23 year old young professionals attempted to mentor each other, it would turn into an accountability situation. Since  experience is one of the best teachers we have, the opportunity to learn from experience can come from mentorship.

I'm motivated by the fact that society sees disability as a negative concept. I'm motivated, not because I can prove people wrong with my actions, but because I've always thought of it as the best thing to ever happen to me. Since I've graduated college, the reaction to the simple fact that it happened has been astounding. Honestly, the actions and reactions of people toward me and toward my situation are my biggest source of motivation. Why should I only walk 5 steps when I can walk 10, get more exercise, and have legs like no one has ever seen?

Most recently, I'm motivated by college athletes. Why? College athletes who are successful and who flourish on and off the field of play understand the importance of living a full life, but also the importance of using the platform that a student-athlete offers to be leaders in the community and elsewhere. It doesn't take being a student-athlete to come to these realizations, but the lifestyle allows for an amazing opportunity to see, do, and be many things for the athlete and for others. Wants motivate people far too often, when needs should be driving the bus. A need to give back to the community is not something that is innate in many, but realizing the need can transform sources of motivation. It's an explanation for why my passion for community service is off the charts!

Motivation comes in all shapes and sizes that can vary depending on the current situation and circumstances. Knowing that, why has it become crucial that we fit into a mold that may not fit us? Why do I have to be motivated by people with disabilities just because I happen to have one?

Where does your motivation come from?

Disability in Graduate School (Or Simply in Life)

I've had plenty of time to do some thinking on the ways that having a disability might actually be advantageous when beginning graduate school this fall. There are rare occasions in which individuals reflect on the positives of something that might challenge the way that they live their lives, but I think it could prove to be an interesting way to learn to appreciate the small things and the unexpected blessings.

Disability is almost always synonymous with "unconventional".  Just because I button a pair of jeans with one hand doesn't mean that my jeans are never buttoned. Though I can't explain to someone how I accomplish it with one hand, I just do. In graduate school, I surmise that many of the research articles that I will read or the papers that I will write will involve complicated intricacies that will drive people to ask, "How do you understand any of what you're studying?" Truthfully, the only way I can and will explain it is that it's what happens when passion is evident. Just like when you realize that you're the only one who can button your pants, it just happens.

One quickly learns that some things just take time. For me, I've had to come to terms with the fact that it's okay if it takes me an hour to get ready to go run errands. The important part is that I accomplished the task independently, and I, most of the time, am confident with the work that I complete. Graduate work isn't conducive to completing the three page paper you forgot about in the two hours before it's due. You can't procrastinate. You can't expect quality if you aren't willing to put in the quantity in the form of time. It's okay that you had to cancel the coffee date with your friend if it means that you're less stressed about the 6 hours it took to put your best effort into the paper. Write the paper, and then reward yourself with the coffee date. You'll feel much better that way because the best things just take time.

The application is just as important as the acquisition. Most of us with disabilities similar in nature to my own spent most of our childhoods in physical and occupational therapies to acquire the skills to live, work, and grow independently. While using stretchy bands to improve quad strength and doing 200 "donkey kicks" while watching television is important, climbing the hills of campus can't become a reality until someone sees that he/she can actually climb the hill or walk the mile distance between a classroom building and the library. Similarly, the textbooks and the coursework are vital in graduate school, but applied experience, such as an internship, truly tests that knowledge. "Thinking on your feet" is challenging, and especially for disciplines like the one I'll be entering, it's just as important to apply effectively as it is to acquire successfully.

You know yourself best, no matter what all the advice in the world says. For years, people with and without disabilities have offered advice on how to do various tasks that have proven challenging. While I often appreciate their advice and concern for me, I have earned to keep in mind that I know my needs and abilities better than anyone. Much like the advice given to new parents, applying to and starting graduate school, as well as living with a disability, opens the proverbial floodgates for all the advice anyone has ever learned. Remember, take what you wish, but you know yourself better than anyone ever will.

Admittedly, there is much more that could be added to this list, but I am enormously grateful for the lessons that life has taught through challenges, and I am eagerly awaiting the chance to apply them to my graduate school experience in 2014!